Sunday Conversations: When Fantasies Collide

In this edition, we reminisce about the singularity that occured on May 6th, 2008, when RetroVixen, swampmusic, Ayn Rant and Nibby discovered that they were all simultaneously crushing on the same celebrity. It is a very very rare occurrence. Even more rare is the fact that they all decided to share him, rather than battle to the death (as is the norm).

“By the way, Ayn, Liev Schreiber is still mine!” — Nibby.

What Prime doesn’t know won’t hurt him

Shhhhh! Fortunately, Optimus Prime doesn’t read our blog, otherwise he would know that swampmusic has been getting a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side from one of his buddies.

You know what they say about cars with big engines? Long dipstick.

Secret Lovers, Part II

You know how Ayn Rant loves Vladimir Putin and I, Nibby, apparently slept with Tony Blair and Peter Jennings (before he died, you sickos!)? Well, swampmusic has her very own bad boyfriend. At Singlarity, we do not judge each others’ choices. We’re supportive and occasionally a catfight will break out. Btw, Ayn, Liev Schreiber is still mine. Never you mind, Naomi Watts.

PRIIIIIIIIIIIME!

I know what you’re thinking. How could this relationship work? He’s several stories tall. He’s alien. He’s made of metal. Technically, he doesn’t exist. If you’ve read our blog before, you know that none of the above are insurmountable obstacles. Marriage, death, questionable sexual orientation, a pair of giant maracas, a stint as an assassin for the KGB, extreme chattiness, excessive use of raspberry lip-gloss, a lack of knowledge of our very existence, … even bag-lady-nails! Ain’t no mountain high enough!

I must add my support for this choice on the grounds that Optimus has obviously good taste in footie teams.

Yes, swampmusic. This is sports.

Christian Kane … mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

RetroVixen’s new crush. Well, it’s not a new crush for her, but it’s new to me (Nibs). RetroVixen, I appreciate what you have shown me here.

Photo sources: c_kanedaily at LiveJournal and ChristianKaneCorner

It might just be over

Anyone who has ever battled with an illness for a long period of time might be able to relate. Er, actually, I think I’m pretty much insulting anyone that has suffered like that with such a comparison, but really that is how I feel. So, I sincerely apologize. I am not trying to trivialize your experiences.

That said, I feel like I have been mentally ill for the past 5 months. I have exhibited strange behavior. I have said and done things I never thought that I would. I have apparently told somebody’s grandmother “Screw you!” I have refused to answer the phone (on Sunday nights). I have risked contracting viruses (on my computer). All along I have questioned my sanity. I felt like I was possessed and slightly out of control. Somehow, some way, I managed to keep doing my job, and prevent my friends and family from having me committed. Those of you who have been reading this blog know about my recent struggles and I appreciate your words of encouragement.

Now, I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m scared that I might not be fully cured and a sudden and deep relapse is a serious possibility. Still, I am beginning to feel hopeful for the first time in months. I’m waking up. The fog is clearing and the sun is shining, warming my face. I think I can make it now as the mad feelings have all but disappeared.

Setting the Record Straight

I watch True Blood for its intricate plot twists, snappy dialog, art direction and wonderful acting. That is all!

I am totally immune

Now if you believe that, I have some real estate on Mars I’d like to sell to you.

No Progress since we last blogged

So this is week … oh forget it, I have officially lost count. I am still lusting after Alexander Skarsgard. If I am still stuck in this place by Christmas, the Mounties may have to get involved. I was thinking that after the second season of True Blood ends in a few weeks, I might get a respite, but I’m not so sure now. It’s like Mr. Skarsgard is EVERYWHERE. He’s a favorite of the paparazzi and all the entertainment websites. There’s good and bad in that but all I care about right now is my sanity and its immediate return. Thanks to this gentleman I have “episodes” whenever the following things are mentioned:

Vampires

Sweden (and anything Swedish like Ikea, Abba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic)

Scandinavia

Orange Mocha Frapuccinos

Transvestites (don’t ask!)

Football/Soccer

Burritos

Pink Spandex

Vikings

Tank Top/Wife Beater

6′4″

Sargeant

Pokerface

GP

This list is incomplete. If you have any suggestions, specifically recommendations of other attractive men that could sway my attention and break the spell I am under, I would highly appreciate it. So far, these have not worked, despite their obvious appeal: Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Taylor Kitch.

Still in lust

How long shall he reign?

I am now well into week 18 of my Alexander Skarsgård (pronounced Skarsh-gourd, apparently) lust with no ending in sight. Something must be done. I’ve got an appointment with my chiropractor for this afternoon. Maybe a good neck and back cracking and realignment of my spine will snap me out of this. If that doesn’t work, I’m supposed to see The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds in it this weekend. These days I am annoyed with Sandra Bullock but Ryan Reynolds is supposed to be cute and sexy in this, so it might be worth it. I have doubts though that Mr. Reynolds will be the cure I seek. Should this continue, my proficiency in Swedish may become quite alarming. How do you say “WTF” in Swedish? And seriously, WTF?

Real men aren't afraid to wear scarves.

It’s very clear my ‘lust’ is here to stay

I'm usually not into blondes either

It’s been 4 months now and I’m still lusting after Alexander Skarsgård. As Ayn Rant said the other day, this is getting serious. There doesn’t appear to be an ending in sight either, what with him proving to be sweet to his fans, polite to the paparazzi, concerned about the environment, a football fanatic, and a lover of vodka and chicken burritos. So while I already knew he was extremely good-looking and a very talented actor (from watching Generation Kill), all this additional stuff is not helping me to move on to other crushes.

I don’t like to stay in one place for too long as it makes me anxious. The progression of my lust here is very disconcerting. It’s not affecting my real-life or anything but the fact that I cannot get into anyone else remotely attractive right now is cause for concern.

Case in point, I came back from watching The Hangover the other night (which was awesome, by the way) with Bradley Cooper. Now anyone that knows me knows that by rights Bradley Cooper should have been the next 6-week object of my attention, but no. This Skarsgård thing has left me resistant.

Should this continue well into the summer, I may have to see someone professionally, like a hypnotist. Or maybe I’ll try acupuncture.