Because I can

Why do I walk around my apartment naked with the shades not perfectly drawn? Because I can, and until I get complaints from the neighbors, and may be even after that, I’m not going to stop. It’s not like they haven’t seen nipples or cellulite before.

Why do I run around in the backyard in nothing but a big white t-shirt when it rains, catching rain drops with my open mouth? Because I can, and there’s no smog where I live so the rain water isn’t polluted. How many people can say that?

Why do I drink champagne while vacuuming at 4 o’clock in the afternoon? Because I can, the champagne was free … and tasty. Also, I just wanted to know what it would feel like.

Why do I like to stare at my desktop for 15 minutes after I boot up my computer every morning? Because I can, it takes that long for all of the start up programs to load, and because of him.

He has nice teeth unlike my last boyfriend. Can you say "bottle opener"?

Under the knife

I had surgery last week. Got myself a little “bikini scar” to mark the occasion. It wasn’t a cosmetic procedure and it wasn’t an emergency either. I had the surgery to reduce the severity of my periods and improve my fertility. It was also exploratory in the sense that my lady-bits were up for inspection. I’ve been told that everything is in working order. I just need to find a man willing to breed with me, or rather, I have to find the will to breed with a man. It’s not an indictment of men, but rather of how I feel about children.

I like kids – certain kids – specifically, other people’s kids.