Hair Clips and Giant Tits Don’t Mix

29 Jul

So I’m suffering a bit from insomnia and decide to take a shower. When I’m finished showering I usually use my favorite hair clip to put up my hair, because I’m lazy and hate drying my hair. For the last few days I’ve either dried my hair or used a cheap ass hairclip. The reason why I’ve been using a cheap ass hairclip is because I accidentally dropped my fav hair clip down the side of the bed. The side of the bed that’s right next to the wall. So one can not simply walk to the other side to retrieve it. This has become a bit of a dilemma.

Spurred on by my determination to retrieve my favorite hair clip, I get on my hands and knees and try to spot the clip. THERE! I see it!

…All the way at the end of the bed, and far enough away from the wall where I simply can’t retrieve it if I get on the bed. Dammitall!

I look around the room and try to think of what I can use to move the clip towards me. After a few moments I decide to use a hanger. Smart, right? Well, it was somewhat successful.

My miniature collie, Molly, was watching with a mixture of fascination and dread. I try to console her.

“Don’t worry, Molly!” I say in an extremely high pitched voice. You know, the voice you use when you’re trying to amuse small children.

Molly’s expression didn’t change. I glare at her and return to the bottom of the bed. I try to reach out simply using the hanger, but it doesn’t work. I finally decide to try and squeeze under the bed. I was fairly optimistic; this was, after all, a new bed, so the outcome might not be so bleak this time!

Aaaand that optimism left pretty quick. I was able to get my head and neck under the bed before my tits were being squished across the wooden floor, refusing to budge. I force my body to move forward, but the titties aren’t having it. They’re staying right where they are. I decide to try and get my clip from the end of the bed, trying to catch it from the corner.

It got WORSE! I was trying to move closer, but my giant rack kept getting in the way! The sounds of the hanger hitting the wooden floor repeatedly (all failed attempts at trying to catch the clip. In fact, I ended up pushing it AWAY from me), and the pressure on my chest making my breathing patterns sound asthmatic was making Molly freak out a bit.

“Don’t worry Molly,” I wheeze, “everything’s all right.” *HACK*

I was finally able to move the clip to the wall and retrieve it. The price I paid to get it though, will stay with me for a few hours. My chest feels like crap.

Stupid tits.

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