A Singles Christmas

8 Dec

Being single over the holidays really doesn’t have to be this pathetic state to which people attribute the high suicide rates for this time of year. In fact, there are a few advantages to being unattached at Christmas. Mind you, it took some serious head-scratching to come up with these, but they are legitimate advantages.

Advantage #1: Your gift/card list is a lot shorter

Not only do you get out of shopping for some dude who is difficult to shop for, or worse, already has everything and is picky, you also get out of buying gifts and mailing cards to his close friends (who are now your friends) and family. Some couples, married or not, often decide to do joint gifts. That usually means the wife or girlfriend does most of the shopping. Sorry to generalize, but I can’t think of an instance where the guy took over the Christmas shopping and card mailing responsibilities. Being single means that you don’t have the additional headache of helping your guy find something for his mother. That’s more money and time to spend on your own friends and family, and if the price is right, on yourself.

Advantage #2: You don’t have to argue about where to spend the Holidays

My recently married bro and his lovely bride had the dilemma of deciding where to spend Christmas and New Years.
They opted to spend Christmas with her family and New Years with us. Next year, they’ll probably feel obligated to do the reverse, but I sense some serious reluctance on the part of my sister-in-law. I, on the other hand, can go where I please, without offending anyone. Wonder if Ayn Rant and the Chief have figured out what to do for their first Christmas as a married couple. Unmarried couples also have the additional hurdle of figuring out whether or not they’ll share a bedroom. If you end up bunking with your cousin Tina and he ends up sleeping with your uncle on the pull out sofa, that is the very definition of Hell.

Advantage #3: You can flirt with whomever you want at the holiday parties without guilt

You can also spend the time not watching your significant other like a hawk and fending off those weird women that don’t want a guy unless he’s married or attached. You also don’t have to spend the time playing chauffeur when he’s too drunk to drive home or explaining to your family what he meant by laughing at the suggestion that you’re a still a virgin. When you go out, you’re only responsible for you and your own possibly reckless behaviour. You might meet the dude of your dreams at the office party (or so I’ve been told every year). Wouldn’t it be nice to not have some lump beside you, holding you back from your destiny?

Advantage #4: You get to be Auntie Cool

You get to spoil your nieces, nephews and younger cousins. You can give them as much candy as they’ll eat. You can give them as much soda as they’ll drink. You can keep them up until the wee hours of the morning until they get cranky from lack of sleep. Then you can sit back and watch their exasperated parents and thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to take one of these adorable munchkins home with you. You can play all you want and just hand them back after a few hours. This is my favourite part of the holidays!!!

Advantage #5: Everyone wants to give you money

I have a decent job. I can fully support myself. However, when I am at a family gathering, because I’m still single, every uncle, auntie and older male family friend wants to slip me a $50 note just so I can buy my poor self something nice and use it possibly to find a good man. No, seriously, I had one uncle actually say this to me, “Buy yourself something nice to get the guys calling.” I was mortified for 5 seconds, but I took the money. I’m not ashamed.

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One Response to “A Singles Christmas”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Shhhh! Don’t tell Hallmark! « Singlarity: Single Hilarity - February 12, 2009

    […] you recall last Christmas, I did say that the holidays can be less stressful when you’re single, and cheaper too! Anyway, I’ll save my thoughts for the S.A.D. Blogathon post. Possibly […]

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