Singles Awareness Day Blog: First Date Butterflies

Imagine that you’ve put in a lot of hard work surveying your friends and relatives, and scouring the dating and social networking sites in the hopes of finding someone who doesn’t scream “serial killer” or “lives in mom’s basement” and you’ve finally been successful in nabbing that all-important first date. You’ve agreed on a time and a place. You’ve conferenced with your girlfriends about what to wear and what key signals to look for. You’ve tasked one of them with the job of calling the police if you don’t make it home by a certain time. You’ve primped, you’ve shaved and you’ve painted your toenails. You’ve removed the cat hair from your trousers just in case he’s got pet allergies.

The hours before you step out of the house and step into your car to go to the great adventure that awaits you just can’t pass fast enough. As you navigate through traffic, you struggle to concentrate and find yourself in the wrong lane and forced to make a u-turn, twice. You scream on the inside with impatience as a truck in front of you takes all day to clear the traffic light. It turns red before you even get to the intersection. While you’re waiting, you take a quick scan of your make-up in the rear view mirror. You wonder how long your concealer will do it’s job. You begin to rethink the teal eyeshadow and purple eyeliner. Too late. The light has changed and you’re off again to the great adventure that awaits you.

You arrive 10 minutes early. You convince yourself that it doesn’t make you look too keen. You start to go over in your mind all the things you’ve been told about him. You try to remember what he looks like in his facebook/myspace/eharmony/lavalife/fish-in-the-sea profile. You can’t remember if he’s got blue or brown eyes. You can’t remember if he said he had kids or not. You’re struggling to remember what he does for a living. It dawns on you, that you were so relieved and excited to find someone that seemed normal that you forgot to retain the basic information. You’re pretty sure he’s a little older than you. That counts for something. You’ll just ask him again. No worries.

Suddenly there’s a man looking at you expectantly. You didn’t even notice when he came through the entrance of the restaurant/bar/cafe. You smile awkwardly, feeling extremely self-conscious. He smiles broadly and there’s a glint in his blue eyes. Blue, right! You were pretty sure they were blue – and what a lovely shade too. You shake hands, sit down and stare at each other for some time before speaking. Then suddenly, you’re off!

The awkwardness subsides. You find yourself giggling at things that are funny but not that funny. You nod a lot in recognition of similar interests. You tilt your head. You tuck your hair behind your ears and touch your face and lips. Your eyes can’t help but run over every visible inch of him. He’s got nice shoulders. His teeth aren’t that crooked. It doesn’t look like he bites his fingernails. Phew! You wonder what he must be thinking. You wonder if he’s doing the same thing to you. You wonder if you missed an errant hair on your chin.

He leans in a few times to talk to you. He places his coffee cup next to yours. His fingers brush yours and you feel something unexpected – something you haven’t felt since you were 12 years-old and at a New Kids on the Block concert. I believe they call it instant infatuation.

The date ends and you head home full of enthusiasm and hope. That was fun, you think. He’ll definitely call, you hope. It doesn’t matter really, because all you really wanted was the validation and you got it. Yeah, you’ve still got it girl. Now if he doesn’t call, well, that’s worries for another day. Mission accomplished.

Being single means going on a lot of first dates. Some, like the one described above, go really well. Others, well, let’s just say that’s why you should have the police on speed dial and a male friend willing to come get you while you hide out in the washroom. Still, there’s nothing like the anticipation of meeting someone new and imagining all the possibilities. I never feel more girlie than when I’m standing in front of my closet with my friends on the phone, going over date etiquette and strategy, and then later doing the post-date debriefing and analysis. If I ever get married, I think I might miss this part of single life quite a bit. I know that my married friends get excited and live vicariously through me when I go on a first date. I really do enjoy this time of discovery and conquest.