You know you have a new celebrity crush when

13 Apr

you watch every single movie in which he has ever been despite the pain and irreparable damage they might cause.

Well, the first time it happened was in 2007 with Gerard Butler after 300 turned into a mega-hit. I watched every movie he was in – the good, the bad and the pointless. I remember how my friends warned me that Attila and Dracula 2000 sucked big donkey balls but I watched them anyway. Well, I’m doing that now with Alexander Skarsgard and OMG he’s been in a lot of shite movies. Well, as far as I can tell they are all really bad but it could just be that for some of them the drama/comedy is lost in translation from Swedish. Bad. Very, very bad. I just got done watching The Last Drop. I thought, “Hey it’s got Billy Zane, Michael Madsen and Karel “Rasputin” Roden and it’s in English!” No more shitty Babel fish translations. No more badly dubbed soundtracks.

Turns out it’s quite possibly the worst World War II movie I have ever seen. It tried to be one-part Kelly’s Heroes and another part Three Kings, but ended up all parts utter tripe. It makes Battle of the Bulge look like a cinematic triumph. Anyway, my only consolation is that Alex makes a really goodlooking Kraut. So now I don’t have to work hard imagining him escaping from the Nazis with Maria and the Von Trapp kids in the remake of my favourite musical. Yes, it could happen.

Add to that, my cat ate some rubber bands and has been breaking wind with a regularity that has not been witnessed since my father’s Chicago days. So there I was trapped in my apartment, watching the shittiest World War II movie in cinematic history with a gassy cat and no vino because the liquor store is closed for Easter.

Dude, I must really love Alexander Skarsgard.

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One Response to “You know you have a new celebrity crush when”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 13 Days of Skarsgard: Day One « Singlarity: Single Hilarity - April 13, 2010

    […] : "http%3A%2F%2Fsinglarity.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2F13%2F13-days-of-skarsgard-day-one%2F" } April 13th, 2009 was the first time I blogged about the “giant and beautiful” Alexander Skarsgård. Back […]

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