Love: Long Con or Long Lasting

5 Jun

Is love the greatest con artist? Is it a mere coincidence that falling in love puts one in a similar state of confusion as if you had just been bamboozled? A confidence scheme exploits someone’s weaknesses or virtues in order to defraud them of something precious. Is love really supposed to take you for all you’re worth?

What this question really boils down to is whether or not love is exploitation. To this, I must say emphatically no. By its very definition, love is selfless. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Er, that’s bullshit. I agree with John Lennon who said “Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” Love isn’t about neglecting to do the bare minimum, taking things for granted and getting your own way.

So, if you really want to know whether you are in a loving relationship or a long con, you need to figure out whose interests are being served in the relationship. If it is decidedly one-sided, then you know you’re in a long con and you should act on this knowledge.

Sometimes along the way, a loving relationship can turn into a long con, making you wonder if it was ever a loving relationship in the first place or some really long confidence scheme. I have no answer for that. I just think it is important to recognize if and when things change, keeping in mind that you could very well be the confidence man.

That’s right. You might think you love someone when in fact you’re just using them. It’s hard to recognize when you’re being conned. It’s sometimes even harder to recognize and then admit when you’re actually the asshole. We don’t always mean to take without giving, but sometimes we’re just too wrapped up in ourselves to see it.

So, what is the point of all this? I think we should all strive to be good lovers (and I’m not talking about perfecting your neck-wetting and nipple twisting techniques) and to also demand respect and affection from those who claim to love us. I don’t think it’s necessarily a personality trait or something certain people are naturally inclined to do. I think this is something you just have to decide and make a conscious effort to be good at.

Love long and prosper.


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