The second greatest actor or our time needs your help

14 Nov

Forget about Steven Seagal who is, coincidentally, the third greatest actor or our time. Nic Cage is under siege. The actor who starred in such epic masterpieces as The Wicker Man, Bangkok Dangerous, Ghost Rider, National Treasure, Next, Vampire’s Kiss and Peggy Sue Got Married is being stalked by shifty-eyed mimes. Well, he’s also heavily in debt, his hair is thinning and he looks like a strung out meth-head, but that’s really inconsequential.


Say it ain't so, Nic.

The true measure of a society is demonstrated in how they treat their washed up, talentless, skeevy, drug-addled, sex-obsessed, former action heroes. When the aliens land to take over the Earth and threaten to sodomize the lot of us, let us show them that we are a compassionate race. Give generously to the Save Nic Cage from Shifty-Eyed Mimes … oh and from possible financial ruin … Fund. *


Just Say No

Photo source: Grantville Gazette

*100% of every donation will go to covering administrative expenses, such as buying new Aldo shoes for Nibby and action figures for swampmusic. Special thanks to missberlish for bringing this serious issue to our attention. The ladies of singlarity wish to do their part in eradicating the scourge of the Earth. Effin mimes!!!


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