Multiple Choice

24 Nov

My cat just urinated on my freshly folded laundry because I ignored him for 5 minutes while folding said laundry. Which of the following sounds like my actual response?

 

A) Screaming hysterically for five minutes before settling into guttural wailing.

 

B) Falling to my knees, beating my chest and tearing at my hair until the physical pain I feel matches the level of my emotional anguish.

 

C) Threatening to have my cat’s balls re-attached just so I can have him neutered again.

 

D) Putting an ad on Kijiji for a lonely person who needs an attention-whoring cat to love. ” Warning: Kitty will suckle at your tit if you fall asleep with your shirt off.”

 

E) All of the above.

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2 Responses to “Multiple Choice”

  1. Ayn Rant November 25, 2009 at 1:23 pm #

    F) Give the cat back to the shelter. You’ve done all you could.

    • singlarity November 25, 2009 at 3:45 pm #

      I tried doing that, remember? They said they had no room for him. I tell ya, it’s a scam. “Oh, don’t worry, you can bring him back if it doesn’t work out.” Then when you do, they tell you there’s no room.

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