True Wishes: Checking my wish list 1 episode in

15 Jun

The first episode of the third season of True Blood was manic with so many characters and so little time to get us up to speed with all their shenanigans. It seemed I got almost everything I wanted in one episode. I hope the rest of the season elevates this to a new level.  If so, we’re in for a wild ride. Something has got to make up for this low-scoring, vuvuzela-deafening World Cup (Germany notwithstanding).

"Fur is soooo tacky!"

Let’s check the wish list:

1. More Eric (preferably naked) – CHECK! Poor Yvetta. Six hours of non-stop pounding and she had to work the next night. I would need a week off and an ice bath. You think Eric gave her a raise?

2. More Pam – CHECK! Oh, Pammy, you can bring your lesbian weirdness to my house anytime.

3. More Laffayette- CHECK! I have every confidence in your v-peddling abilities. YOU CAN DOOOO IT!

Bonus: More Pam and Laffayette (bonding over their history in prostitution, no less)

4. More Jason and Andy bonding – CHECK! “Conscience off, dick on!” Wasn’t that Jason’s season 1 mantra?

5. More Hoyt and Jessica puppy love – well, sorta. They reconnected for 0.8 seconds.

6. Less Bill and Sookie schmoopie-woopie-ness – CHECK! Although it was replaced by Sookie stomping around telling everyone she knows about how her almost-fiancé is missing and how they should stop living their lives in order to find him. Face it, Sookie. You and Lorena are the only ones who give a damn about Bill and she’s a psycho. Think about the company you’re in.

7. Absolutely no mention of maenads – GRRRR!!

"I said I don't want to hear about Maryanne!"

8.  For Bill to dislodge the crucifix stuck up his ass – CHECK! Jesus would never feed off of a lonely old lady. It’s nice to see Bill acting like an actual vampire. But remember, Bill, you are what you eat, which right now is 70+ and wrinkly.

Screencaps source:  SkarsgardNews.com

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