True Wishes: The Nightmare that stole Episode 3

29 Jun

Whoa! It’s been more than 24 hours since “the most twisted sex scene in Television history” aired on my TV. I am still feeling a bit nauseous. During the first 2 episodes of season 3 of True Blood, I had rediscovered my admiration for Bill Compton. The old Bill was back. In a matter of minutes, all those good feelings disappeared. Bill Compton is a monster and capable of the most depraved acts known to man. I should have known that. I mean, he is vampire. Still, he was no Southern gentleman in episode 3, not that Lorena deserved to be treated like a lady. I wouldn’t want to look at her face either, but that’s what paper bags are for, or you know, maybe you shouldn’t have sex with her in the first place.

Anyway, I need to focus on other things. This episode had more going on than its violent ending. In fact, Bill and Lorena’s twisted romp was not the only outlandish sex scene of the episode. It took 3 episodes for the True Blood writers to put Tara back in her place as a mind-controlled sex object. Thanks a bunch! P@&a madre! Mother f#@%$&! One of the things I loved in Season 1 was that Tara had way more moxie than Book Tara, who was a cross between a wet blanket and a door mat. I don’t know how to feel about Franklyn Mott. It is clear that he too is a monster and capable of the most depraved acts known to man. This is expected, since he too is vampire. Still, he’s sexy, disgusting, manipulative, evil, obsessive, cruel and cunning. Tara must have a “Please use me” sign on her back. Once again, Bill’s lack of parenting of Jessica has left her in a predicament. Poor baby vamp is in way over her head. I hope Mr. Mott does not take it upon himself to mentor her.

I only speak the truth, Eric.

Eric Northman is no longer The Iceman, and no, I am not making a Generation Kill reference. Eric Northman, when he is in control of his emotions, only kills when it is advantageous for him to do so. Eric Northman, when he is in control of his emotions, is no slave to sentiment. Eric Northman, when he is in control of his emotions, does not get involved in human problems. Sookie Stackhouse is going to be the death of Eric Northman as we have come to know him. It’s sad, but it is totally consistent with the books and real life. I guess I just can’t stand to see the stoic viking look so vulnerable, especially after the whole Godric thing last season. I was hoping that he would be completely hardened after losing his maker. I’m not ready for the Northman to be so in touch with his feelings.

Once again, Pam remains the only one who seems to have his/her shit together. I don’t know how long that will last once Eric finds out that she’s been eating his Estonian pie.

I knew Arlene’s baby was not Terry’s the moment she realized she was pregnant. Nothing comes easy on this show. That baby already has three strikes against it and it hasn’t been born yet. Its biological father was a serial killer who was beheaded in a graveyard by telepathic waitress, his mother is a trashy racist redheaded bimbo and his stepfather sees things that aren’t there when he’s off his meds. Let’s not even mention its messed up, paint-sniffing, bare-feet half-siblings. Still, this kid will probably turn out to be less of a pain in the ass and menace to society than Little Tommy Mickens. Just sitting on the couch with your pop in his dirty underwear watching NASCAR is enough to warp the mind of a young person. You could literally see the dollar signs in the eyes of Joe Lee Mickens when realized that the son he had no hand in raising had amounted to something. Ca-ching! I would not shed a tear for those people had their trailer been hit by a tornado. They need to get off my TV and never come back.

Now, the one thing that made this episode for me was the introduction of Alcide Herveaux. Wow! Damn! Hubba hubba! I want one of those, with the plaid shirt and a side of curly chest hair … to go.  Only comes in XL, you say? No problem. Bring it.

I seriously disliked most of this episode. It just felt so wrong to me. The good thing is that I have two weeks to cleanse it from my palate. Gosh, I sound like Talbot. Help me.

RetroVixen’s Response:

I agree with you on everything. Especially Alcide! However…his acting did not impress me. It was very Keanue Reeves-like. I hope his acting is much better in the next episode.

And WTF, BEEL. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I know Lorena is a manipulative bitch, and she deserves much pain and anguish for all the shit she’s done to you, but certainly you could have given it a bit more thought and done something less disturbing. Why not be sneaky and do something to set her up and get her killed. See? That’s a good plan, and it doesn’t involve rape or twisting heads! And I know Sookeh will not be down with you banging/raping your ex. No, sir. This is just giving more ammunition to Eric to give her a “shoulder to cry on” so to speak.

I really don’t like Sam’s storyline. It’s boring. Pam needs more airtime, and so does Lafayette. Also, Jason’s storyline is boring as hell. Please, please do something about this. Jason and Sam’s storylines are taking up so much viewing time! It’s irritating.

And Franklin…I know he’s evil, and he’s using Tara to get to Beel and Sookie, but there’s something strangely attractive about him. But then again, I’ve always been a sucker for accents. No pun intended.

As for what I’m expecting, I hope they do the whole Eric-loses-his-memory storyline. I know you don’t like Vulnerable!Eric Nibs, but I think it’s ADORABLE and makes me crush on him even more.

So in summary, what I want:

1) More Eric
2) Less Sam and Jason, unless their storylines become more interesting, because as of right now they’re such a snooze fest.
3) MORE PAM, DAMMIT. She’s so badass! I want to see her in action, complete with a cute Stepford Wife outfit. Please?
4) And where is all the gay? I’m hoping for some Eric/Godric flashbacks with a side of slash, but I won’t hold my breath.

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