It must be the True Blood withdrawal

7 Jul

Lord help me, I’m actually thinking of seeing Eclipse. Even though it’s full of ridiculous moments (warning: spoilers abound). Last year, I wrote the New Moon Survival Guide for those of us who are not Twi-hards  and now I find myself wanting to sit for 2 hours in their presence. Why? I think I must enjoy feeling superior around people with really bad taste. Right now I’m trying to put together a list of ten reason why I shouldn’t see the film and to be honest this list should take me 10 seconds.

1. Really really really really ridiculously bad acting (Taylor Lautner is the worst)

2. Really really really really ridiculously bad CGI

3. Kristen Stewart’s dead eyes

Who's the undead one - Edward or Bella?

4. Rob Pattinson’s pre-pubescent voice

5. The $9.45  ticket price seems steep considering that I can wait and watch it for free next summer at the kids festival

6. There’s no sex, apparently

7. Edward doesn’t die, apparently

8. Action sequences are often interrupted by forced and hackneyed romantic scenes

9. The dumbest and most ludicrous love triangle in the history of cinema – a mind-reading immortal and a werewolf fight over the lackluster and sometimes suicidal Bella Swan.

10. Bella doesn’t die, apparently

Still, somehow, there’s an invisible force pulling me to the cinema; it’s called boredom. Eclipse could be entertaining from an anthropological perspective.

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One Response to “It must be the True Blood withdrawal”

  1. missberlish July 9, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

    I can’t quite gather the motivation to watch ‘Eclipse’. After the last two movies, I’m just not in a hurry to torture myself. On a different note, I’m totally stoked about the new ‘Predator’ movie 🙂

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