I’m just being honest

13 Sep

I don’t like Rafael Nadal. Who? This guy:

Still don’t know who he is? He’s the number 1 tennis player in the world, who can’t seem to find comfortable underwear. I spent considerable time this weekend trying to figure out why a guy who makes millions of dollars in prize money and endorsements can’t find underwear that doesn’t dig into his ass and irritates him. So, I’ve come up with a few reasons for the constant butt-picking:

1. Nadal is not used to wearing underwear. When he’s not practicing or playing tennis matches, maybe Nadal likes to go commando. Underwear, which is necessary when you are running up and down and don’t want things to flop about, is just unnatural to him. So his butt-picking is due to his discomfort, or a rebellion against the underwear police.

2. Nadal’s butt is too pert to be held down by briefs. He does kinda have a bubble butt and it’s quite firm from all that running, squatting and lunging, so this is a distinct possibility. His butt just wants out. It shall not be restrained.

3. He has a hairy butt. The cotton, or whatever fabric his briefs are made of, constantly tug at his butt hairs and he reaches back periodically to untangle them.

He plays lefty but he's ambidextrous when it comes to butt-picking.

Whatever the reason, I find Nadal’s opponents and the chair umpires extremely brave individuals because I personally would not shake his hand after each match. Just think about the fecal matter being transferred to his hands with every butt pick before every first serve of every point of every service game. His hand has got to be a biohazard by then.

Wash your hands, Djokovich!

GO DJOKOVICH!!

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