I’m just being honest

27 Sep

Why is it that women are the only ones willing to wear an outfit that has a billion buttons, hooks, loops, zippers and tie-fronts when we clearly have more inconvenient plumbing than men? I only say this because I was caught with my fly down just now and that was only because after attaching two hooks, 3 buttons, a buckle and a loop on my pants, I was exhausted and completely forgot about the zipper.

Zipper Mouth by David Foresty

I mean, it’s bad enough that I can’t pee standing up on the side of the road and that I have to refrain from drinking liquids when wearing a jump suit. So why do I keep buying clothing that requires 2-3 minutes to unhook, unbutton, unloop and unzip? WHY? The buttons look cool from an aesthetic point of view. However, from a functional point of view they don’t really do anything useful. The additional buttons and hooks don’t hold my pants up any better, nor do they look slimming. In fact, they just bring unwanted attention to my Buddha belly. So why then? Why? I need a shrink to figure this out.

I think the excessive zippers, ties, buttons, loops and hooks are a holdover from a time when women were literally handicapped and imprisoned by their clothing. I think it’s time to simplify. I certainly don’t like the embarrassment of an open fly, nor do I enjoy almost pissing myself while trying to undress in the bathroom.

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2 Responses to “I’m just being honest”

  1. missberlish October 21, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    ROFLMAO I so wish I could pee standing up by the side of the road or in one of these public urinals in Amsterdam

    http://www.citynoise.org/article/566

    • Nibby October 22, 2010 at 9:25 pm #

      Whoa, that is really really really public. Europe is a strange place.

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