News of the Day: You’re doing it wrong

11 Nov

So this dude got high and burgled someone’s house in the hopes of finding more chemicals to sniff. When confronted by deputies he slapped one and kicked others. He was totally off his fucking rocker. However, this right here takes the cake.

During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from [dude]’s rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside [the dude].

Ew. Ew. Ew. Dude, you’re doing it wrong. If we’ve learned anything from Richard Gere, besides how to have a decent movie career with marginal talent and looks, it’s that when in doubt use a gerbil. There will be no tell-tail signs.



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