Faux News: World in shock as Starz cancels Camelot

4 Jul

No one saw it coming. Certainly, not the millions and millions of television viewers who failed to watch a single episode of Camelot.

“There I was thinking that I could wait until 2 or 3 seasons of it had come out on DVD, and then I’d watch it over a long holiday weekend. Now there’s only like 10 episodes. How could they do this?” said Blake Bueler, an avid TV DVD watcher. “They need to think of a show’s  drunken marathon-viewing potential before they pull the plug.”

No one thought that after the success of Spartacus and it’s prequel, The Borgias, Game of Thrones,  … that TV audiences would overdose on “blood and sword” period dramas to the point that they would decide not to watch a poorly scripted, terribly directed, cheaply produced and over-acted take on the Arthurian legend. Seriously, there were no signs.

Yes, the ratings were bad. Yes, the reviews were lacklustre. Yes, Joseph Fiennes and Eva Green (and her lovely breasts) were slumming it. Yes, Claire Forlani was seriously miscast. Yes, there were at least 6 other male cast members that were way hotter than the male lead. Yes, Guinevere looked liked she was a decade older than her paramour. Yes, for a show with magic, there was very little use of it. Yes, willing suspension of disbelief was taken to heights never before imagined. And yes, they got rid of James Purefoy (and his full-frontal nudity) after 2 episodes. Still, how could this have happened?

I am left scratching my head. Summertime psoriasis to be sure.

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