I’m just being honest: It’s hard to say ‘fuck off’ to the old and familiar

11 Aug

No, I’m not talking about my Nana. I loved my Nana when she was alive and I’d give up a whole lot to have 5 more minutes with her. I’m actually talking about my ex – not the most recent ex – the ex before last. A month ago he showed up again in my life, acting like he’d never left, acting like he hadn’t stomped all over, dropped trousers and took a dump on my feelings. And you know what? I let him walk back in without so much as a whimper. Why would I do that?

I honestly can’t answer the question. I don’t need him. I have other suitors and prospects, so it’s not like I’m feeling insecure about my attractiveness. I’m not lonely. I have great friends, a loving family and a very attentive cat (who is currently begging for a belly rub). I’m not bored. Oh, well actually, I am bored. So there it is. I’m bored and the one thing that I know is true about my ex, and something that every friend of mine has said about him, even the ones who hate his ass, is that he’s never boring. Whenever I was with him, I was either too embarrassed, scared, ashamed or hysterical to be bored. I guess I am one of those people who is willing to put up with a lot of shit to avoid boredom.

That song by The Pierces comes to mind …

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