In this instance, I am a quitter

15 Oct

I have decided to quit on-line dating … AGAIN. It’s just not for me and it has been incredibly demoralizing. I realize that I’m not the type of person that someone will be attracted to in bite-size form. I’m one of those desserts you have to eat a couple times to acquire a taste for it. I’m not saying I’m difficult, well, actually I am saying that. I am also saying that I’m not for mass consumption. That’s a good and a bad thing. I’ve got more in common with goat cheese and haggis than I’d like to admit. I wish I was more like tiramisu, but I certainly don’t want to be a bag of Doritos.

On-line dating requires you to describe yourself in tiny and catchy snippets. Then you’re expected to choose photos strategically – ones that make you look light, fun, adventurous, and (most importantly) skinny. You’re encouraged to exaggerate your strengths and completely omit any weaknesses. You’re discouraged from writing passive-aggressive statements like “I’m tired of games” and “assholes need not apply” even though that’s really how you feel. When it comes down to it, on-line dating doesn’t allow me to represent myself in an honest and meaningful way.

So, fuck it.

Haggis: Jeebus of Nazabeth, that looks so disgusting! No wonder no one wants to date me. 😦


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