I’m just being honest: I’m not worried about my eggs going bad

18 Nov

This is to all the people out there that have an opinion about the product of my ovaries and what I should or should not be doing about them. FUCK YOU!

Now that we’ve gotten that piece of business out of the way, I’d like to talk about why I have decided (and it is MY FUCKING DECISION) not to have children on my own. I will not be going to a fertility clinic or sperm bank to get turkey-basted with the issue of some anonymous donor. No thank you. For those of you who have made contributions to sperm banks, I appreciate your kindness. I will not be hitting up my male friends for sperm donations either. I think the world of you guys, but if I don’t want to be in a committed relationship with you, I don’t want to have your babies. I will not be barhopping hoping to get knocked up by a one-night-stand or try to catch sperm off passing truck drivers. That’s a bit too hazardous for me. I will not have my eggs saved in a freezer for later use, just so I can have a teenager when I’m in my 60s. When my eggs go, they go. I’m not “bovvred”. Finally, I am not going to adopt a baby from a developing country to raise on my own.

So, these are the things I won’t do. What I want to do is have a child with a man that I love and respect and who I know, even in the event of our relationship ending, will be a good father. You see, I want to give any child that I have at least what I had growing up. My father was awesome. My mother was amazing. Together, they were The Super Parents! I know myself. I know my faults and limitations. I could not singlehandedly provide what both my parents gave me to a child. I can’t. If I had to, I would try, but I know that I couldn’t come close to the awesomeness of my parents. I applaud all the single mothers out there that despite all the obstacles raise well-rounded and confident children. I know quite a few of these amazing women, and I know that I am not made of their stuff. I’m not.

So, if I never find that special man in time to have children the old-fashioned way or we can’t adopt a child because of our advanced age, I am prepared to be childless. I have come to this conclusion after lots of meditation and soul searching. Years from now I know that some people will see this childless old woman and think that I chose my career or that I was too selfish to be a mother. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. They don’t know me. If I was truly selfish, I’d be Octomom.


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