Tag Archives: television

Amnesia or Castration: What did that *itch do to Eric?

25 Jul

Sleeveless hoodies are pointless ... like Tara

We’ve had 3 full episodes of Amnesiac Eric and I have to say that so far I am not happy with the direction (nor the wardrobe: sleeveless hoodies are so dumb). I have no problem with the acting, as I think Skarsgard is doing a great job with what he’s being asked to do. However, whose bright idea was it to equate memory loss with a return to pre-adolescence? The low point for me was Eric saying “I had a bad dream,” after startling Sookie in the middle of the night and then crying and begging to be comforted. Really? Are we supposed to believe that Sookie is now falling in love with a six-year-old? Because, ew!! Why would any grown woman find that attractive as opposed to the confident, cocky, sexy, intelligent and exciting Sheriff of Area 5? Seriously, Sook, this is not an improvement. I repeat, this is not an improvement.

I’m just not convinced of Sookie’s sudden change of heart. Then again, she is acting like someone on the rebound. If the argument is that Eric is a rebound after Sookie’s break up with Bill, I could totally believe that. After you’ve had your heart ripped out by that lying and conniving Bill Compton, you too would want to find comfort in a seemingly innocent and childlike new love interest. Still, it’s ERIC F**KING NORTHMAN!! And he’s crying on your lap. Then again, this is what Sookie found attractive after Godric’s death. Or was that Eric’s blood in her? My head hurts.

One thing for sure, Sookie is a nurturer. She likes taking care of other people and now she has baby Eric to breast feed. This is a slight deviation from the books. Sookie is indeed nurturing and caring in the books, but when Eric loses his memories, he’s still grown up with his balls intact. He doesn’t need to be tucked in before bed and to cuddle after a bad dream. I must be one of the few people who is happy that Bill will be breaking up this whole Mommy and baby scene next week. How could Alan Ball and his writers take the most anticipated storyline of the Sookieverse and make it so wrong and unappealing to me?

I think I need a cuddle.

Faux News: World in shock as Starz cancels Camelot

4 Jul

No one saw it coming. Certainly, not the millions and millions of television viewers who failed to watch a single episode of Camelot.

“There I was thinking that I could wait until 2 or 3 seasons of it had come out on DVD, and then I’d watch it over a long holiday weekend. Now there’s only like 10 episodes. How could they do this?” said Blake Bueler, an avid TV DVD watcher. “They need to think of a show’s  drunken marathon-viewing potential before they pull the plug.”

No one thought that after the success of Spartacus and it’s prequel, The Borgias, Game of Thrones,  … that TV audiences would overdose on “blood and sword” period dramas to the point that they would decide not to watch a poorly scripted, terribly directed, cheaply produced and over-acted take on the Arthurian legend. Seriously, there were no signs.

Yes, the ratings were bad. Yes, the reviews were lacklustre. Yes, Joseph Fiennes and Eva Green (and her lovely breasts) were slumming it. Yes, Claire Forlani was seriously miscast. Yes, there were at least 6 other male cast members that were way hotter than the male lead. Yes, Guinevere looked liked she was a decade older than her paramour. Yes, for a show with magic, there was very little use of it. Yes, willing suspension of disbelief was taken to heights never before imagined. And yes, they got rid of James Purefoy (and his full-frontal nudity) after 2 episodes. Still, how could this have happened?

I am left scratching my head. Summertime psoriasis to be sure.

I’m just being honest: Oh, Ned Stark, you beautiful moron!

1 Jun

Daenerys Targaryen goes from doormat to asskicker

Right now, HBO’s Game of Thrones is my new crack. Who thought that a show with this much incest would be my new favorite True Blood hiatus distraction? I love all of it. ALL OF IT. Yes, I even love Cersei Lannister and Jon Arryn’s nutjob of a wife, Lysa. The fact that Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark, played brilliantly by my future baby-daddy Sean Bean, is a righteous idiot is actually not a detraction. Yes, he’s naive, gullible and painfully loyal to the undeserving but you have to love him for his consistency. Sansa’s blindness had to come from somewhere.

Is it messed up that I adore Jaime Lannister, despite the fact that he pushed Bran out the window and likes to bop and breed with his sister? Probably. Tyrion’s pretty awesome. It’s really sad that I’m supposed to hate the Lannisters but they’re kind of my favorite of the families. Even Papa Lannister is just awesome. I find it disturbing that the incest doesn’t bother me as much as it should. Maybe it’s because this is an alternative universe. That’s what I’ll tell myself.

Tyrion: what he lacks in brawn he makes up for with his brain

I still don’t get what’s going on with the Wall and the perpetual Summer and coming Winter stuff. I guess I need to read up on the mythology a bit. Anyone clear to enlighten me and save me 20 hours of Googling?

I’m just being honest: Supernatural, we don’t need another season

23 May

We don’t need another hero

We don’t need to know the way home

All we want is life beyond

The Thunderdome

Sorry, that song has been stuck in my head for three days, along with R.E.M. “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”. I just needed to get that out of my head. Typing it out helps, I think.

Seriously, it's time to pack it in guys

Anyway, back on subject. Do we really need another season of Supernatural? It’s pretty clear how I feel about this past season of Supernatural. Think BIG DONKEY BALLS. With Crowley and Castiel’s late season shenanigans, I can tell you that my feelings have not changed. I certainly didn’t find the total character assassination and retconing of Castiel’s story interesting much less intriguing. It seemed like a lame attempt at the 11th hour to address some of the season-long problems. It would have been more compelling if along the way the writers decided to give us some insight into Castiel’s transformation and descent into Big Bad Territory. Instead, they’ve jammed the entire thing into the last 5 episodes in such a way that it taxes the regular viewers’ willing suspension of disbelief.

So, guess what? I’m done. Really done. I decided to watch till the end of this season, figuring that this crap was on its last legs. However, Supernatural is the CW’s new Smallville/One Tree Hill. Since it finally put it’s original crapfests out of their misery, the CW needs a new show that’s harder to die than John McClane. Fans of Supernatural should just do themselves a favour and assume that the series ended with the Season 4 finale and then the apocalypse happened. The End. The rest is really not worth it.

I’m Just Being Honest: Camelot would be awesome if they got rid of Arthur

21 May

Jamie Bowen Campbell

The new series Camelot premiered over a month ago and I have been enjoying it to a modest degree. The acting is quite good for the most part and the story-telling, while a bit pedestrian, has been fun. My only complaint about the entire series is in the casting. In fact, I love all the casting except for one. No, I am not complaining about Joseph “I’d Rather Fuck Your Brother” Fiennes. He’s actually quite brilliant in the series, as is Eva Green. My only complaint is the casting of Arthur, especially the things that I am expected to believe about him. Don’t get me wrong. I think Jamie Campbell Bowen is a fine actor. I just can’t see him as Arthur. Perhaps, 3 seasons of Bradley James as Prince Arthur on Merlin have ruined me for this incarnation.

Despite this, I still find the series quite watchable. Here’s why:

1. No one is completely evil and no one is completely good

From Arthur to Merlin, everyone has done something for which they are ashamed. Arthur took his Champion’s wife before their wedding. Merlin has killed with his uncontrollable power. Igraine allowed Merlin to take her son and hide him away for years. Let’s not bother to list Morgan’s many sins.

Eva Green

However, she does have her virtues and you can’t help but feel for her. She displays a tenacity and determination to make her own destiny in a man’s world. If Morgan had been born a male, would her father have committed her to a convent when he remarried? Morgan has done some horrible things but she certainly has suffered. Uther was a wretched father.

2. Unique twists on the Arthurian Legend

I especially enjoyed the story of Arthur’s sword, Excalibur and the pulling of the sword from the stone. Each of these stories showed just how long Merlin has been plotting Arthur’s rise and just how far he would go to assure his success.

3. Strong female characters

Aside from Morgan and her insatiable thirst for power, we have a scheming nun and Vivian, Morgan’s right-hand, a former queen in Igraine who has become the mother to an entire movement, and Guinevere, who is flawed but is resourceful and has a strong sense of duty. The women have not been relegated to objects to be fought over. They have agency and their own goals and objectives. It’s not something you expect to find in a medieval drama.

4. A parade of really hot men

Yes, I am just that shallow. Though this incarnation of Arthur is not my type, because I have always preferred scruffy hunky men, to men who look like boys, Camelot has provided us with eye-candy in the form of Kay, Arthur’s adoptive brother, Leontes, Arthur’s Champion and Gawain, the captain of Arthur’s army.

Phillip Winchester (Leontes) and Peter Mooney (Kay)