Tag Archives: yes ayn this is sports

I’m Just Being Honest: “The British press are really a bunch of arseholes.”

1 Feb

This quote is from an anonymous commenter on a blog site reacting to Andy Murray’s loss in Sunday’s Australian Open final. Murray has been lambasted by the British media for a lackluster effort in Melbourne. It is true that Murray hardly made a dent in his match against Novak Djokovic, but one could argue that Djokovic had a lot to do with that. Still, the Brits have reason to have high expectations for Murray. He has been consistently one of the five best players in the world for the past three years. This is something that neither Tim Henman nor Greg Rusedski could claim over their entire careers. Murray is a fantastic talent and until he wins a Grand Slam, he will have an albatross hanging around his neck the size of Texas. Still, I do believe this illustrates the wickedness of the British press. They love a hero, but do they really love tear someone down when they don’t live up to expectations. God forbid what would happen if Kate Middleton chooses a non-English designer for her wedding dress or if they cast an American as James Bond to replace Daniel Craig. I’m a huge Murray fan. I love the style of tennis that he plays. He’s not as beautiful to watch as Roger Federer (no one is, really) but he is quite the shot-maker. I find Rafa Nadal’s style of play mind-numbing and Novak Djokovic seems to oscillate between being hysterically funny and douchey. Soderling can be brilliant but not consistently so. So I like Murray in comparison to the other members of the top five because he gives you drama without being glib. He doesn’t walk around with a sense of entitlement (like Djokovic). He’s not a grumpy grouse like Soderling. He’s not painfully boring like Nadal. Finally, he’s not obsessively perfect like Federer. He just seems like a nice hard-working bloke. That’s what some people seem to forget when Murray faces disappointments like this.  Murray has a higher winning percentage in Grand Slams (75%) than in regular ATP tour Masters events (71.4%). You can’t claim that he doesn’t step his game up for the big events. Still, the final piece of the puzzle eludes him. How does he take something from the big three? I don’t know. I really hope he figures it out, otherwise the British press will continue to ride his ass. Actually, if he were to win, they’d cry out for more or say things like “It’s about bloody time,” like the arseholes they are.

I’m just being honest

13 Sep

I don’t like Rafael Nadal. Who? This guy:

Still don’t know who he is? He’s the number 1 tennis player in the world, who can’t seem to find comfortable underwear. I spent considerable time this weekend trying to figure out why a guy who makes millions of dollars in prize money and endorsements can’t find underwear that doesn’t dig into his ass and irritates him. So, I’ve come up with a few reasons for the constant butt-picking:

1. Nadal is not used to wearing underwear. When he’s not practicing or playing tennis matches, maybe Nadal likes to go commando. Underwear, which is necessary when you are running up and down and don’t want things to flop about, is just unnatural to him. So his butt-picking is due to his discomfort, or a rebellion against the underwear police.

2. Nadal’s butt is too pert to be held down by briefs. He does kinda have a bubble butt and it’s quite firm from all that running, squatting and lunging, so this is a distinct possibility. His butt just wants out. It shall not be restrained.

3. He has a hairy butt. The cotton, or whatever fabric his briefs are made of, constantly tug at his butt hairs and he reaches back periodically to untangle them.

He plays lefty but he's ambidextrous when it comes to butt-picking.

Whatever the reason, I find Nadal’s opponents and the chair umpires extremely brave individuals because I personally would not shake his hand after each match. Just think about the fecal matter being transferred to his hands with every butt pick before every first serve of every point of every service game. His hand has got to be a biohazard by then.

Wash your hands, Djokovich!


No, France, there is no Santa Claus

22 Jun

There is no Santa for arrogant, spoiled and selfish children. Coal in the stockings will not suffice. Anelka, Gallas, Evra and the rest of the rotten apples in Les Bleus, along with the ineffectual lame duck Domenech have broken my heart, and I’m not even French. Seeing the long and sad face of Zidane at yesterday’s press conference made the pain even more unbearable. They ended their World Cup without honour and without class, with Domenech refusing the shake the hand of South Africa’s coach after France were beaten.

After Henry’s controversial handball, France needed to prove that they belonged at the World Cup finals. What can I say? They failed miserably. Zidane’s headbutt and red card from 2006 is a distant memory. France will not disappear but their football history is forever tarnished. They will rebuild and rise again, but not with this sad lot of posers.

My heart is aching. France is like a really lame boyfriend. You know the kind. France is the kind of boyfriend that deliberately forgets his wallet at home when he takes you out to dinner. France is the kind of boyfriend that kicks your cat when you’re not looking. France is the kind of boyfriend that forgets your birthday, blames you for not reminding him and is pissed when you can’t take a week off work to celebrate his. France is earning its well-deserved flight home. Like a really bad relationship, they will be hard to get over but they will not be missed. Don’t call me and don’t text me. No more I love yous.

Oh, and yes, Ayn, this is sports.

Yes, Ayn. This is sports.

7 Jun

The World Cup starts this weekend, so I’m going out on a limb and picking my squad. If you’re from Ireland or a fan of Ireland, you will not like my choice, so you should probably stop reading right now.

Continue reading

Yes, Ayn. This is sports.

30 Apr

For the record, I’m a Phoenix Suns and Steve Nash fan. What happened here makes NO sense to me.