I’m just being honest: Oh, Ned Stark, you beautiful moron!

Daenerys Targaryen goes from doormat to asskicker

Right now, HBO’s Game of Thrones is my new crack. Who thought that a show with this much incest would be my new favorite True Blood hiatus distraction? I love all of it. ALL OF IT. Yes, I even love Cersei Lannister and Jon Arryn’s nutjob of a wife, Lysa. The fact that Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark, played brilliantly by my future baby-daddy Sean Bean, is a righteous idiot is actually not a detraction. Yes, he’s naive, gullible and painfully loyal to the undeserving but you have to love him for his consistency. Sansa’s blindness had to come from somewhere.

Is it messed up that I adore Jaime Lannister, despite the fact that he pushed Bran out the window and likes to bop and breed with his sister? Probably. Tyrion’s pretty awesome. It’s really sad that I’m supposed to hate the Lannisters but they’re kind of my favorite of the families. Even Papa Lannister is just awesome. I find it disturbing that the incest doesn’t bother me as much as it should. Maybe it’s because this is an alternative universe. That’s what I’ll tell myself.

Tyrion: what he lacks in brawn he makes up for with his brain

I still don’t get what’s going on with the Wall and the perpetual Summer and coming Winter stuff. I guess I need to read up on the mythology a bit. Anyone clear to enlighten me and save me 20 hours of Googling?

Boyfriends of the Moment (BotM): Sean Bean and James Purefoy

Neither of these men can measure up to Ewan MacGregor, but like Mama always said, never let a small penis get in the way of fantasy.

Sean "Liptstick Tube" Bean

Despite his shortcomings, Sean has managed to produce gorgeous offspring.

Ayn: Also, when do I get my free shag with Sean Bean and my Sean Bean baby before he dumps me for the next?!

James "More Than Adequate" Purefoy

There’s a reason he’s got a bigger photo than Sean.

swampmusic: Yes. He’ll do.

Superbowl Sunday Conversations: This is NOT Sports

Owwie! Who dat?

This is the first Sunday conversation of 2010. What does that tell you about our membership status with Procrastinators United? Anyway, this conversation has absolutely nothing to do with the Superbowl. Sorry, folks. Some of us don’t even know the names of the teams that are playing or which cities are represented. Some of us don’t care. We just know that everyone else seems to be very excited about it and we accept it in our humble yet sarcastic way. Well, this Sunday conversation is actually about Sean Bean and his lipstick tube. Yeah. Resisting Sean Bean, star of the Sharpe series and Lord of the Rings,  despite his notoriously small penis, can be dangerous for your health in more ways than you realize. Also, there is a crapload of really really really bad fan-fiction out there. We often complain that TV and movie writers don’t know how to write strong female characters. Well the worst writers of fictional female characters are  … 13 year-old girls!