I’m just being honest: Supernatural, we don’t need another season

We don’t need another hero

We don’t need to know the way home

All we want is life beyond

The Thunderdome

Sorry, that song has been stuck in my head for three days, along with R.E.M. “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”. I just needed to get that out of my head. Typing it out helps, I think.

Seriously, it's time to pack it in guys

Anyway, back on subject. Do we really need another season of Supernatural? It’s pretty clear how I feel about this past season of Supernatural. Think BIG DONKEY BALLS. With Crowley and Castiel’s late season shenanigans, I can tell you that my feelings have not changed. I certainly didn’t find the total character assassination and retconing of Castiel’s story interesting much less intriguing. It seemed like a lame attempt at the 11th hour to address some of the season-long problems. It would have been more compelling if along the way the writers decided to give us some insight into Castiel’s transformation and descent into Big Bad Territory. Instead, they’ve jammed the entire thing into the last 5 episodes in such a way that it taxes the regular viewers’ willing suspension of disbelief.

So, guess what? I’m done. Really done. I decided to watch till the end of this season, figuring that this crap was on its last legs. However, Supernatural is the CW’s new Smallville/One Tree Hill. Since it finally put it’s original crapfests out of their misery, the CW needs a new show that’s harder to die than John McClane. Fans of Supernatural should just do themselves a favour and assume that the series ended with the Season 4 finale and then the apocalypse happened. The End. The rest is really not worth it.

I’m Just Being Honest: Supernatural sucks

Goodbye, Dean and Sam!

The sixth (and hopefully final) season of Supernatural has been awful. Each episode feels like the TV viewing equivalent of walking in the desert for 40 years. It took me 2 weeks to get around to watching the latest episode, and when I did, it felt like a chore. That’s when I knew it was time to move on.

Six reasons why Supernatural Season 6 sucks big donkey balls:

(Try saying that with peanut butter in your mouth for a fun challenge)

1. There’s no really interesting, slimy and fun big baddie. Instead we have a long list of boring, self-indulgent, one-note baddies of the week. They had Crowley for a while, and he was mildly interesting and fairly shady but he also lacked balls and they eventually killed him. So what are we left with? A bunch of whiny-assed angels and demons and Death, who hates his job.  You know something is wrong when you feel like Death is slumming it to be on this show.

2. The most interesting characters on the show are put on the back burner. Castiel and Bobby are the only two redeeming characters left on the show. That one episode that showed you a day in the life of Bobby was the high point of this pathetic season. It really served to show you how ungrateful, dysfunctional and selfish Sam and Dean are. Meanwhile, Castiel continues to be awesome but he’s mostly off somewhere fighting a war we know nothing about and showing up when he’s really sick and tired of Sam and Dean leaving whiny self-serving messages in his voicemail.  I don’t even know why he shows up anymore. The Winchester brothers haven’t acted like friends in a long time.

3. Can’t we just leave the dead alone? I’m not going to count the number of times either Sam or Dean has been brought back from the dead, but why did they have to bring back Grandpa Samuel. Also, why is Grandpa Samuel now so set on bringing back Mama Winchester? There is a natural order to life. I know Mama Winchester’s death was unnatural but can we just stop treating Hell and Heaven like they’ve got rotating doors? When death has no sting, life has less meaning.

4. It’s not fun anymore. This show used to know how to let loose and have a good time. Now it feels like the final season of Battlestar Galactica where everything goes to shit and you just feel worse and worse and worse. There is no escape from the gloom. The depression on this show is deep and never-ending. It suffers from the same problem as that awful Terminator: Salvation movie. There is no fun because there is no hope. They need to find a way to write hope back into this show.

5. I want to keep  Soulless Sammy. He was a breath of fresh air on a very stinky show. Okay, so he had no moral compass and he was getting worse and more lost without it. However, he had the worst Jiminy Cricket in the world on his shoulder. Dean should never be anyone’s conscience.  Dean is so battered and road-worn that his morality would cripple you into never leaving your home, or worse, blowing your brains out. Which leads me to my next point …

6. Dean Winchester is dead. He’s been dead for 2 seasons. What we have before us now is a shadow of Dean Winchester. The Dean I see before me is not someone I care about or want to try to care about.

So this is goodbye from me. I miss the old days, but they are not good enough to keep me around. Like every relationship, it’s good to get out before resentment sets in.

What exactly are you looking for?

So one of the wonderful things about WordPress is that it gives you all these statistics on visitors to your blog, as well as the links and search engine queries that bring them to your wonderful little neck of the internet. Most visitors come here because of that post on Farscape Webisodes, hoping like I am to finally get some news from Syfy about when we can expect to see new material. Imagine the disappointment when they realize that my post is just another whino’s lament. The latest news came out of this year’s Comic Con, in which it was announced that the webisodes were still in the pipeline. Well, frell me dead. In 40 years will I be sitting on my porch telling my grandchildren that there once was a dream called “Farscape Webisodes” and some day, after the meek inherit the Earth, the TV god who comes shall finally keep his promise?

The second largest group of visitors want to see Alexander Skarsgard drinking, shirtless, in his underwear or just naked, preferably with Stark Sands by his side. I’m right there with you. In third place, are visitors seeking “21 things to do when your 21″. To these lovely individuals I must add a 22nd item: learn the difference between “you’re” and “your” before your 22nd birthday or before you’re 22.

Some of the other visitors leave me absolutely baffled. Why would anyone want to search for gassy vegetarians? Are gassy vegetarians the new Old Spice Man? If so, I don’t see it, or smell it for that matter. Three people searched for their “own cleavage,” like it’s for sale. Oh, wait a minute … Wouldn’t “breast enhancement” be a much better search query?

Anyway, you will not be disappointed if you came looking for:

• Ryan Reynold’s cheese grater abs
• Jared Padelecki boy next door
• Hatred for Zac Efron hair
• True Blood fangover cures

You will be sorely disappointed if you came looking for:

• vintage conch shell people (WTF?)
• an uneven tits gallery (Seriously, is this a fetish?)
• vacuuming naked (That’s just asking for trouble)
• sexually biting testicles (No comment)

I wish I were making this shit up because then I would be awesome but the truth is I am not that awesome.

So far no one besides Ayn has come seeking Vladimir Putin. This makes me very sad.

He can kill you with his deadly nipples.

June 2010 better come soon

The premiere of season 3 of True Blood better come soon or I might find myself cheating on Alexander Skarsgard. I know! I know! It is inconceivable!

The last thing I want is an angry Swede on my hands but ...