Sunday Conversations: Just Balls!

15 Nov

Here at Singlarity, swampmusic‘s monocle is a revered artifact that is used for important purposes. Just what are those purposes? In this week’s conversation we clarify the jurisdiction of the monocle, discuss the cult-like hysteria associated with the Snuggie and declare Nathan Fillion imperfect but f***able.

goldenmonocle

Just for balls

swampmusic: I’ll analyze it. With SCIENCE.

Nibby: Is the monocle required?

swampmusic: Optional but not required. The only time it’s REQUIRED is during the involvement of the study of balls.

Nibby: Just balls? What about other crotch features?

swampmusic: No. Just balls.

Nibby: Okay, thank you for clearing that up. Once in a while I get confused about the purpose of the monocle.

Ayn Rant: Which reminds me — swampmusic, I took this at World Market, just for you. It’s the scientific-yet-happy study of balls during the holidays.

glitterpumpkin

Monocled pumpkins - the apocolypse is near!

swampmusic: Hahahaha, nice!!! I totally cracked up at this. Pumpkins. With monocles. It’s such a beautiful combination. Perhaps they are studying pumpkin balls.

Pumpkin Balls (With Papaya Icecream)

Balls! Balls! Balls!

RetroVixen: Have fun at your next cult meeting.

swampmusic: CULT MEETING OUT IN THE WOODS. LOLOLOL. I love this.

Ayn Rant: And that creepy uncle is still trying to get in your pants…

swampmusic: Btw, I love how [a conversation] about Batman somehow turned into something about ball-examining, monocle-wearing pumpkins. Nice.

Nibby: The other day [my friend] pointed out that Nathan’s eyes are slightly further apart than average, so now I cannot look at him without thinking about it. I now want to meet him just so I can take a ruler and measure the exact distance and compare it with Adam Baldwin‘s. Damn you, [my friend] and your criticisms. I swear, he’s more picky about men than I am. Dude finds flaws with everybody. You know what Alex’s flaw is? He hangs to the left.* Huh. WTF?

Universal City Cinemas

Eyes wide apart?

Ayn Rant: Nathan Fillion’s eyes are a little wide across — I’d still do ‘im.

Nibby: Well that settles it.

——————-

* Upon thorough examination it was estimated that Alexander Skarsgard hangs right 68% of the time. This estimate was acquired without the use of the monocle as hang-determination was deemed an unsuitable use of the sacred instrument. An appeal against this ruling is still passing through the court system. Stay tuned.

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3 Responses to “Sunday Conversations: Just Balls!”

  1. Ayn Rant November 16, 2009 at 4:22 pm #

    My name is Ayn Rant, and I approve of this message.

    • singlarity November 16, 2009 at 8:45 pm #

      My name is Nibby, and I approve of Ayn Rant. In fact, I am very fond of her.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Stocking Stuffers for Women: The Perfect Balls « Singlarity: Single Hilarity - November 25, 2009

    […] Perfect Tea Ball to be exact. Actually, it’s not even ball-shaped. No need to break out the monocle, swampmusic. This one comes courtesty of me, Nibby, and is available at my favorite tea supplier […]

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